The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. ~Proverbs 14:1
Yup, that used to be me. Angry, irritated, and bitter about all that had "gone wrong" in my life. I was carrying all that ugly stuff on my shoulders and slinging it at anybody that pushed my buttons.
I was tearing my house down.
I wish I could say I woke up one morning and decided to change and poof, a new, pleasant and kind me stood in the grumbly cantankerous me's place. Nope. I had to see my ugliness for what it was, be pained by it, and hate it, before I could change it.
Sin comes with many names. Pride, thinking I deserve to have things they way I want them. Discontentment, getting irritated when things aren't just the way I imagined or planned. Irritation, when someone isn't doing just what I think they should be doing, when I think they should be doing it. Self pity, "why do I always have to..."
Those are all sins. Selfishness, pride, anger...
A few years ago I began to realize I wasn't a victim but rather, I was choosing to feel sorry for myself, choosing to be irritated, choosing to let it turn into bitterness and choosing to get angry and yell. I could continue to stomp my feet and let everyone know I wasn't pleased and vent my frustrations. I might feel better for the moment, but I was stealing everyone else's joy and tearing my house down in the process.
I decided that I would like to be a wise woman, a kind woman, a pleasant woman. I would like for my children to grow old and say that I was a blessing to them. I would like for my husband to cherish me.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her ~Proverbs 31:28
If I wished to be a blessing, I needed to act like one! If I wanted my husband to cherish me, I could not be a constant dripping!!! No more making excuses for myself!
It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. ~Proverbs 21:19
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike ~Proverbs 27:15
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife Proverbs 21:9
Joy and love are choices, not feelings. Patience, I think, is inversely tied to selfishness- when I let go of my selfishness I become immensely more patient. Bitterness is a poisonous gas that destroys everyone in it's path. And Pride- well, pride is at the root of all of those other things.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23
I am cannot achieve those traits own own, I am depraived and desperate. I slip back into my old (well practiced) habits of nagging and complaining (especially when 9 months pregnant) if I am not grounded daily in the saving grace of God's Word. I must choose to put off the old and put on the new.
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires ~Ephesians 4:22
How about you, will you tear your house down with your own hands? Or will you seek the wisdom of the Lord and build your house up?
be renewed in the spirit of your minds and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. ~Ephesians 4:23 & 24
Begin by asking for forgiveness and putting on a smile. It is worth it!