In the beginning it was so exciting but I wasn't sure that once the newness wore off I'd be able to survive a year in the trailer. It has been over a year now and everyday has been an adventure. But there is also lot of drudgery. Pushing through it all, I would have to say the most valuable lesson I have learned is one on contentment. Well, I can't really say I have learned it, I should say I will be learning it for the rest of my life.
It doesn't matter how big (or small) my house is, how well it is decorated, how much laundry is piled up, or if I have a dishwasher. It doesn't matter what my grocery budget is- if I am eating healthy food or not, using an oven or a skillet, or even if I have running hot water. It doesn't matter if I am able to buy every little thing my heart desires or if I am searching the van cup holders for a dime to buy a meal. It doesn't matter if I have a thousand dollar top rated homeschool curriculum or a library card and a pencil. Not one bit of any of that matters if I have a crappy attitude.
My mind is full of a nagging
"If I could just learn this, go there, or buy that" or "I really need a...(insert just about anything from a fingernail file and hair dye to a laptop and a kitchen aid.)" If I keep thinking about them, they begin to gnaw on me and before I know it I am grumbling at everyone around me because my "poor me with out my such-n-such" attitude drips out of my mouth.
Contentment in every condition is a great art, a spiritual mystery. It is to be learned and to be learned as a mystery. And so in verse 12, [Paul] affirms, "I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed."The verse Jeremiah Burroughs (1599-1647) is referring to is Philippians 4:12 and it follows "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Burroughs also states that:
Contentment is a sweet, inward heart thing. Not only must the tongue hold its peace: the soul must be silent. It is the quiet of the heart.Some people may be good at keeping quite on the outside, at wearing a poker face in whatever situation life throws at them, but if there is a waging war in their heart, they are no better off than the person throwing a full blown temper tantrum.
I have only a few short months left in this tiny little abode that is bursting with memories. It is my prayer that I will learn a great deal about contentment before we move on to a "real house" and I am tempted to fill in the empty spaces with something from my little nagging list of never ending wants. In fact, I hope to throw out my list all together! So~ be looking for my new series of posts on Contentment as I dig deeper to find what it truly means.